The Monster and his Queen

“The monster had silent rules: smile, love him, don’t show any emotions, be grateful of him, and the most important rule of all, do what he says but tell no one.”

As a child, you never imagine all of the horrible things you see in the news, or the scenes Hollywood portrays to gain your attention could be reality. Your innocence allows you to imagine falling in love at a young age, and living out your life in total bliss alongside someone you truly love. Your innocence did not allow room for the haunting thought of love being ripped away by an incurable disease.

Or to have a boy, many years older than you, tell you he loves you and that you’re his “only one.” To have that same older boy force you into the action that he called “lovemaking.” Only to realize you were not the only one who made his “love” for years.

Some say that must be it? That must be all. However, like the infomercials say, as you’re crying silently into your pillow at three in the morning, “but wait, there’s more…”

She thought she had overcome it all, losing the boy she loved, being forced to love another. She must have used up all of her bad luck, right? Wrong. Out of everything this girl had been through, one experience stood out the most. The one experience, which made her still see his face when she closes her eyes. Or hear him scream at her every time she made a mistake.  

She always wondered what it was that made him flip his switch. The switch between the man she fell in love with, and the monster hidden behind his eyes waiting to crawl out. The man who was kind to her and helped repair the wounds that the others left. He treated her like royalty; she was his queen and he, her king. Or so it seemed... it wasn’t until later when she realized she was but the joker, forced to grovel at his feet.  

The monster had silent rules: smile, love him, don’t show any emotions, be grateful of him, and the most important rule of all, do what he says but tell no one. If she followed these rules the man would stay, if she disobeyed them, the monster would come out to play. The games he played were not for the faint-hearted. His games involved tearing her self-confidence away, which resulted in her mentally hating herself for not being who he wanted her to be. Another game involved making her see everything wrong with her when she would look in the mirror, to the point where she hated everything that once made her the girl she once was. The worst game of all he liked to play was the game of punishment. The rule to this one game was simple; use any force or object that would hurt the victim the most.

If she ended up crying or begging him to stop, he would win. He used to play these games with her a lot, sometimes more than once a day. She tried to change the game sometimes, unlock a cheat code, but they never worked. They just made the monster angrier.

She played these games for years until a friend asked her why she was wearing a long sleeved shirt and a scarf in the middle of summer. Little did that friend know that the monster came out to play the night before, he found a knife to cut where he already strongly wrapped his hands. This friend forced her to talk but not the kind of force she was used to. It was kind and concerning and offered the girl help. This friend introduced her to a counsellor where she told him only what he needed to know and what she could muster up the courage to say. It took only two people to help her find the strength to slay the monster and dethrone the “king”.

It was time for the final battle, the joker against the king. The king never saw it coming but put up a fight far more significant than any of his games. The joker slowly turned back into the confident queen she once was, and it was with one final hit of defence and a venom-ness “stay away,” the queen took back her life and was no longer a prisoner of the monstrous king.

The queen in this story is but one of many people victimised by numerous types of abuse. The abuse that left her with multiple mental illnesses, which she now struggles with day to day. However, this queen is currently enjoying her life and is surrounded by people that care and continue to show her that not giving up was the right thing to do. It goes to show you that all it takes is for one person to help change someone’s life forever. How do I know this, you may ask?  I know this because I am the queen in this story. I was able to turn my life around all because of one person deciding to ask if I was okay.

I will never get a fairy-tale ending, and I’m okay with that. For this queen has slain her monsters and is now working on a better life for her own self.

--Submitted by Taylor Herbrand